Ahoy and long time no see. Welcome to another post here on Anime Parlay. It has been some time since I’ve had the time or desire to write. Even now, I’m camped out in a dormatory at the University of Wisconsin in the middle of our FPS International Competition with my wife and her students. This is the culmination of their hard work over the last year and I’m honored to be a chaperone. Seriously, I’ve been surrounded by some of the brightest students in the WORLD and it is refreshing. Plus people in Wisconsin are polite AF. Please and Thank You go a lot further here than where I live in Washington. It’s refreshing. Unfortunately, this post will not be so kind.
Pleasing My Critics
On the heels on my first “fluff” post (An Ode to my Favorite “Heretic Monkeys), I received my first fan message on Twitter. It was heralded by this fan as “kinda garbage”. Aside from the blunt reaction, I reread my post and after some consideration, I agreed that it was kind of garbage. Needless to say but a rage demon was being conjured in my soul. Still, I decided to be diplomatic to see if I was just being trolled or if genuine care was intended.
Believe it or not, it was a troll who I charisma checked into an honest opinion. Fuck yeah! Ultimately, the biggest complaint was how un-up-to-date I am on the current generation of anime. I expressed that I was indeed a “Man out of Time” when it comes to anime. It ended up being a very fruitful conversation about how much the landscape had changed. There was clearly an age difference since this piticular fan mentioned they had only known anime streaming. Me, I worked my ass off every weekend in high school to buy the next DVD to complete the set to have the ability to say I owned a show. My choices were limited to what had been imported and it was slim pickings. Hell, I’ve bought DVDs that ended up not being shows I wanted to watch. I’m only out $30 for each disc that didn’t work out for me. My fan acknowledged that he had never had that issue. Lucky duck! Either way, he encouraged me to check out a few recent titles and I made a would-be-troll a friend. That +5 Charisma modifier, man!
Truth Be Told
Unfortunately, I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I’m very informed on the last 3 years of anime. Why? Confession time. I used to host a weekly anime podcast with a friend. When I moved to Washington, I met a mutual of a friend of mine at a Pillows concert in Seattle in 2011. We talked about starting a podcast shortly after but that didn’t happen until 2015. Still, we did it and kept it going through hardship and passion. It was a lot of fun but I eventually got burnt out on anime. A new podcast episode each week meant a new show to cover each week. This eventually let to diminishing returns for enjoyment of the medium. By the end of my time on the podcast, I refered to protagonists as “Protagonist A, B, and/or C” just because it became so homogonous. I got to the point where I just assumed I had outgrown anime.
The podcast is still going today but I am minimally involved, by choice, and have removed all mentions and credits to my name. Somewhere, out there exist 124 episodes with my voice. Unfortunately, you can really hear my degraded passion from the first episode to my last. It’s honestly painful to listen to myself in the later episodes because that’s where I can see the results of my own depression taking over. I still haven’t talked to my co-host friend about my trials and tribulations with sadness but honestly, he doesn’t need it. I’m incredibly proud of what I started and where it’s going. It has a bright future but not with me.
Also, What Happened to America
In addition to all the shitty shit I was feeling and needless weight I was piling on to myself, I’ve been devistated watch Orange Nero fiddle as his cronies destroy my country. Look, I enlisted in 2006 because I was too young to join in 2001. They don’t let 8th graders go to war which in an informed choice. Good on you. I served 4 years, did 2 tours in the Arabian Gulf, and did everything in my power to subvert the “Ugly American” tropes. Every chance we could do some humanitarian work in the countries that hosted, I was there. I just wanted to help people. Still do.
Now we have this crusty fuckwad who is separating children from their parents, promoting a racist vile agenda, taking away governmental programs meant to help those in need to give tax cuts to his rich comrades. You know what? Fuck that. Fuck everything this dude stands for. I hate that the world hates the US, more so now, than before and squarely put the blame on that bafoon.
It really REALLY sucks to see any work that I did to stand out and be the best ambasador and representative for the United States squandered. It sucks that my BA degree that a served to get is essentially worthless now. Is it all for nothing? Did I really waste the last ten years of my life to secure a better, brighter future for myself only to be usurped by shitty policy makers I didn’t vote for? It sure as shit does. I have days where the news, which I am admittedly addicted to, just turns me off from life. What the hell can I do?
I didn’t know if I was ever going to find the answer until today.
Rest in Peace, Anthony
I was devistated to hear about Anthony Bordain’s passing. As a writer and former world traveler, Anthony had this flair for life that I admired. He’d been through his own personal hell and back and had the cahones to share with the world. My family and closest friends don’t even know I’ve sought therapy myself. Anthony had a devil-may-care attitude while still being able to be witty, compassionate, and stand-up for those who could not on their own. My respect for his writing style is only rivaled by my genuine appreciation for him as a human being.
Today, I wad inundated with tributes from all the people who were touched by him. It really got me thinking about the future, my own mental health, and what my next 10 years should look like. For once, I was thinking forward and not fixated on the past. I owe it to myself, my wife, and Mr. Bordain’s memory to take care of myself moving forward.
That being said, my biggest challenge is to not be a people pleaser. I have been since forever. My biological parents kind of went to do their own things and abandonment was always my fear. Not anymore. I have more love than I know what to do with. I am a complete human being and I deserve to feel whole as does anyone. I am also sick and tired of being respectful to people who do not or will never show similar respect. As far as I’m concerned, they can take a long walk off a short pier, to be civil. That being said…
This is NOT an anime blog
Sorry but if you’re here for hard-hitting anime coverage, you’re mistaken. I am not going to be writing about current things because I’ve never been current. At the end of the day, I don’t write for views. I’m not out for followers. I could care less about that shit.
HOWEVER, anime has been a monumental influence on my life. It just isn’t my life. I’m not the high school The Captain anymore. For me, anime serves a mirror of my world and gives me the ability to examine my life through another lens. Anime serves to teach, to inform, to inspire, and to enlighten if you’re into that. I don’t want to write about anime. I want to write about how it affects me, how it influences my thinking, and how it makes my sensitive little heart feel. Plus there are amazing, talented writers doing anime blogs right. It’s just not me.
I hate to tough talk you wonderful readers like this but thems the brakes. If this doesn’t sound like your thing moving forward, I thank you for reading, wish you all the best, and may you never have allegations brought against you. If you’re still here, thank you again. This isn’t an anime blog still but anime still rents a room here.
Party On, Dudes!
I love Anime Parlay. I have a small peice of the internet all to myself and I plan on using it, just to the beat of my own drum. This is me. I can express myself. I get to make cool header images on my phone with pinks and purples. I wouldn’t trade that expression for anything. Shoot, I have Yuri up there today because Yuri is the embodiment of returning from the ashes of a colosal failure. It’s going to be a little more abstract here on the blog but one more aligned with why I started writing again. If anything, this is for me. I’m just happy to not be going it alone.
I supposed that’s all I have for now. Hours of thought finally transmuted into a respectable, overly-open post. Either way, I love you and there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it. We need more compassion in the world. I’ll always be an advocate for that. Until we meet again, thanks for reading. Adios!