Calibrate

Ahoy and welcome to Anime Parlay. Look at all the cobwebs on the blog. It’s pretty empty in here this week. Let’s talk about it!

If you’re anything like my partner and I, you’ve streamed The Office (US Version) more than once, twice, thrice, who’s counting? At the end of the 8th Season, my Wife pointed out a scene where Andy, who became and lost his position as boss, is prepared to regain his boss-ness but not without making an ass out of himself in front of his soon-to-be employees. Erin, his girlfriend, pulls him aside after an embarrassing gag from Andy and asks him to reassess the situation before any more harm is caused to his image. Andy struggles to grasp anything but his moment of redemption. Erin looks right at Andy and simply says “Calibrate…Calibrate.”

Aside from my personal feelings of Andy’s character destruction over the 9th season, Erin is a godsend. If we could all be so lucky to have someone stop us before we jump into something wildly idiotic. This scene is now forever stuck in my head because of that “Hey, reevaluate what’s going on here”. Rather than Erin though, in my head it’s my wife gracefully stopping me before letting me move forward. My fantasy version of my wife is just as responsible as my real world wife. Talk about character.

This last week has been one of those weeks where everything happened all at once. We sold our second car (to be a one-car family, savvy) but it didn’t sell before our next payment was due. We also switched mobile phone carriers because our old contracts ended and again, missed canceling before our next bill was due. My car also got broken into yesterday but nothing was taken. Still, that doesn’t feel good either. Tensions rarely rise in our household but this last week brought some stress down on the crew. Stress is not my friend as I am sure it is not yours.

As a younger kid, I think I was surrounded by stress all the time. It was an ever-changing place in terms of location and people living there (which is a story for another day). I think I just got used to it and that was life so I never gave it any attention. As an adult with a copious amount of free time, I have a lot of resources to really think on it to the point of self-degradation. At that point, I am consumed by thought. Not healthy thoughts but knowing full well that my brain is putting out propaganda to keep me down. For a few years, I just let that be the status quo until it was time to cry it out. Now, it’s a little different.

Calibrate

Now that I am older and wiser (hopefully), I am better at getting that figurative monkey off my back. I know for myself that anger is my key emotion. People have repeatedly told me how much they appreciate my sense of humor, bright aura, and patience. In my mind, I am just always angry. Just like the Hulk. What’s worse is I am a small town kid in the big world. I am all manners. “Thank you” and “Excuse me” here and there. I am a very kind person but as soon as I treated disrespectfully with no warrant or worse, have an attack made on my character, I lose it.

Calibrate-001

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not making improvised weapon checks and rolling D4s. I just do whatever I have to do to get out of that situation. I run away. I go away for everyone’s piece of mind. I’d say it’s safe to say only people I am very close to have seen the angry version of The Captain. However, that anger has been described as brilliant blaze of eloquence expressed in a childlike tantrum. Then it’s gone. My wife is so good at letting me erupt that it’s only a matter of time before I realize how stupid I look before I bring it back to mellow central. What a woman!

It’s honestly that letting me burn bright before burning out completely that allows me to STOP and then proceed with the next plan of action. It’s perfectly fine to just be PISSED AS ALL HELL for a hot minute before sitting with it and sorting it out. Embrace the anger but channel it properly. Better yet, learn to get rid of it. This is something I am actively working to change. Especially before I have kiddos of my own. They’re only going to get that thoughtful, unconditional good stuff we sometimes miss out on. I got it. They’ll get it.

Returning to Blogging/Working

This week, I took the time to be bummed about everything, start realizing that it’s just the next step in the process, and started working toward getting us back on track as a family. For me, the blog is low priority. Sorry party people. The writing comes from passion, inspiration, and anime. This week didn’t give me a chance to do that. However, I am here today to update you that I’m not going anywhere. Just getting my personal life sorted out so I can be a professional here on Anime Parlay. Boo-ya!

I am also looking to break my unemployment streak. I was very reluctant to look for work since each job I’ve had I left for ethical reasons. Don’t ask a veteran to do people wrong so you can make a buck. I’d rather be a statistic then give up my values. That being said, I have began looking for work in my wife’s school district as well as non-profit work. We’ll see where this adventure goes but as you probably know, employment searches are long, arduous, and a great way to prepare for rejection. My time has been focused on that but today, I had some time to write. Today is a good day.

Thank You for Sailing with Anime Parlay

I have said it from day one but Anime Parlay is me writing for me. The fact that I have people that want to read what I have to say and check in on me is just beyond amazing and I can only offer my extreme gratitude. I know this isn’t that post you we’re hoping for but it’s always good to keep some light focused on the future. Life is changing around me, I am adapting and getting back to a new normal. If I can do, lordy you can too!

Thanks for reading today and continuing to support this little project. Please enjoy the week and and look for some better posts coming soon. Aloha!

 

2 thoughts on “Calibrate

  1. I’m sorry to hear you had such a bad week and I also hope you find work you’re confortable with.
    I am however happy to hear you’ve no plans on leaving. In the short time since I’ve discovered this blog, Ive found it consistently enjoyable and I would miss it

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s all good, especially after just venting through writing. Thank you, sincerely, for the awesome, kind words. I can only get better and the support certainly helps!

      Liked by 1 person

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